am i stupid

I just put danny to bed drunk. He’d been to the zee bar, and I made him drink some water. He was sick and then I put him into bed. We talked for bit then I left him to sleep.

I went back to ben’s room and he had had some weed. So I left abruptly. I said I felt like I had to keep everyone one safe and I couldn’t do it all at once. He said I didn’t need to keep everyone safe, and I said “you can do whatever the fcuk you like then”.

I came back here and started crying.

I feel like no-one listens to me, I try and keep people safe and they just do what they like anyway. I know it’s not my job but I still feel in part responsible. And I also like to give advice that I would like to hear myself. That's the important part.

Danny was so nice to me, he remembered stupid little things that we’ve talked about in the past. I helped him out and stayed with him until he was ok to fall asleep.

And I just know that he won’t remember a thing.

He wouldn't even come pick me up from the train station yesterday.

I feel like there’s no-one there for me when I’m rushing round trying to be there for other people.