aaaw I think ben is really lonely :(

Last night me, Danny and Alan wanted to watch Jarhead, and Ben was on his own in his room so we thought we’d come and watch it in his room to keep him company, even though he was messing on the net more than anything.

It is a long film and Danny was falling asleep. Alan was still a bit ill, he was ill earlier in the week, so he left straight after it finished. Then I stayed with Ben. He said he missed me when I came in to see him ;) he had found super Mario 1 and 2 for gameboy on the internet hehe so we played on that for a bit – but he was quite drunk (as usual) – which actually made it funnier.

Then I learnt that his mum was probably the source of his low self esteem (why do parents do this?) telling him his complexion wasn’t good – he’s always really bothered about his appearance, mentioning it all the time, doing his hair, asking if he looks ok etc etc. He also said “that's probably why I'm not confident with girls.”

By the end of the night (about 3am) he wanted me to stay over cos he was lonely. He said he missed his friends from back home, he went home last weekend but only saw family because his friends were at uni too. Think he’d got to ‘That’ stage of being drunk – melancholy stage. I didn’t stay over though, went up to bed and messaged Laurence for a little while.

I sent ben a text saying ‘love ya man!’ which is his phrase ;) cos he is a really lovely guy, he’s just a little geeky, not the best looking guy and has low self esteem – maybe it’s why he drinks a lot, to give him more confidence or something. But I think of him as my good buddy.