the fastest whirlwind romance ever

Well we have to start on Thursday.

I checked my Lycos page, and I saw that someone had visited my page – as I do most days. I had a look, thought he sounded nice in the profile and thought he was nice looking ;)

So I sent him a “hey”, and got one back. We sent a total of 9 messages on there. The 7th from him was “you know where I am” (meaning ‘you know where I am on here if you want to chat etc’). I sent a reply saying “well no I don’t actually, what’s your number?” – very cheeky! And then he sent me it ;)

So that night we sent about 100 texts to each other – OMG that’s definitely a record. At some point during all of that we got onto talking about having a free weekend – kind of jokingly, but not ;)

Then on Friday we texted again in the morning, then talked on msn for a bit. I said I kind of fancied some company today, and he said he’d think about it. In the afternoon we texted a bit and he said he would come – he’d bring a sleeping bag and stay over for the night. We were meeting just as friends, so I was treating it like that – not as a date, wasn’t going to push anything or get my hopes up.

So he came at about 8pm. He lives in Brighton, or somewhere near, which is about an hour away. I met him at his car, he was better looking than his pic ;)

We had a bit of a chat in my room, I looked through his dvds. Then we walked into town to Tescos to get some alcohol, came back, watched one of his stand up comedy dvds which lasted half an hour, then at 10 we went down to watch QI with Ben. I do that every Friday, and I wasn’t going to this time because Sam might feel uncomfortable (like Jonathan did when I spent lots of time with friends) – but talking to Sam, he was so like Ben anyway I didn’t think he’d mind. So we watched it, Ben gave us some beers (hehe he never does that usually ;)). After that we watched some Alan Davies stand up, and then we left. Ben said he wanted to borrow Layer Cake from Sam.

Then we went up to my room and watched a Lee Evans stand up dvd, and sat on the bed. We kind of snuggled, then we were doing more than that – it was kind of unspoken things, giving off signs etc. Like I said, I started off not wanting to push anything even though I did like him, but I’d wait for signs that I could take things further. Definitely got them!

I said "there are worse ways to spend a weekend". He said "I can't think of anything better".

Then after that we got ready for bed. He didn’t sleep on the floor after all, but we didn’t do anything just cuddly stuff ;) we got up in the morning and we out to get some food at the leisure park that has the cinema and various eating places. We also played pool in the bowling alley, I didn’t really fancy bowling – partly because I haven’t done it in years and even then I wasn’t good, and partly because this guy is sooooo sarcy, and just rips the piss out of anything and anyone, I didn’t really want to be on the brunt of it as I’d be such an easy target!

He only does the silly jokes and comments etc because that’s how he is, not actually being nasty or anything.

Then we went back home and watched some Friends and chatted.

At about 7 we went to the SU – it was so boring in there, it was so empty, nothing happening. Who’d have thought that weekends at uni would be the most boring time of the week. I think it’s cos so many people go home for the weekends. It kinda spoils things for everyone when people do that, I think some people should try cope on their own a bit more – it’s all setting you up for life. Anyway.

One thing I do remember. At one point Ben said “I woke up with a headache this morning”, and sam said “you think you got it bad, you woke up with a headache I woke up with her”. Hmmm...

We came back, drunk some of the stuff we bought on Friday night. Then he started with more silly comments etc and I got a bit annoyed. Then we had a bit of a ‘serious’ chat – which was weird with him actually. I think he does use his sick humour to cover up his true feelings – maybe insecurity or something. We sorted it out, he said he usually pushed things until he knew where the boundaries are – I’d say that’s a pretty dangerous way of testing people, you could really mess with them.

Then Ben came up and asked if we wanted to have pizza with him (definitely feeling lonely ;)) so we said we would – then Sam offered to take him to Tescos to get some more beer, so we decided to collect the pizza instead of getting it delivered. We got to Tescos (omg how scary was his driving though) and it shuts earlier on a Saturday, so we went back into town and went to the Tesco Express. Then we picked up the pizza and went back to Ben’s room. We watched Monsters Inc because it was on the top of his pile hehe.

After a while Pete came round to visit, he was asking Ben about some project they have to do (they both do music). So I was sat on the bed in the middle of Pete and Sam – omg I felt a little awkward ;) don’t know what Pete thought about it, whether he assumed I was together with Sam or whatever, but anyway. Maybe I’ll talk to him about it sometime – I actually haven’t talked to him properly since we were together that night.

Me and Sam were drinking Rose, he was just swigging it out of the bottle hehe. Before we started drinking he kept mentioning getting psised, but then he drunk hardly anything really, and was looking pretty well gone. He said he wasn’t that drunk but he didn’t look well at all. He hasn’t been well lately, problems with his stomach so all weekend he was either saying he felt ill, or looking it.

Anyway, we got back upstairs, watched Friends for a while, then he was looking like he’d fall asleep so I turned it off.

Got up Sunday, hung round chatting and watching Friends again and stuff all day pretty much. Then he went home at about 3pm. He had got a parking ticket for parking in the uni overnight – I did tell him to put it in the car park round the corner, but I didn’t think they’d be that strict at the weekend.

I don’t know what to make of him really. He is a nice guy, I really like him. We have loads in common. But also, there’s a lot of stuff where we differ. And I don’t think I could take a lot more of the competing and sarcy / bordering nasty comments constantly. He’s never serious about anything, and comes out with random stuff all the time, which might get a bit weary at times.

I was thinking at one point I couldn’t pull off being with someone like this. I don’t know why that is – low self esteem for me? I also thought I’d end up boring him. We didn’t seem to do much fun things this weekend. I don’t know, if I was reading about the weekend it would sound like it was ok and that we had a nice time, we fit together and blah blah. But myself, I don’t know....I think it’s just that it’s been such a short time, I hardly know him, but it feels like there’s something missing somewhere.

I suppose we’ll find it in the future. I think all it is, is because I’ve been messed around so much lately, I’m finding it hard to trust – I’m sort of keeping myself safe by not letting myself be open to new people. I know I might miss out if I carry on with that kind of thing, but I need some control back at the moment. I’m emotionally drained, I need some down time for a while to sort my head out.

I hope I get to see him again sometime. Don’t know if I’d want a whole weekend again though. This time I felt like I was missing out on my alone time.

I think I'm getting some signs here.